Surprised

Once in a while, I find myself searching for something that's hard to describe. I think it's a feeling; when I listen to music or see a particular flash in someone's eyes or see a certain picture or painting, I get this quick, little jolt of emotion in my gut that spreads throughout my whole body. It doesn't last very long, and I often try to repeat the same gesture that evoked the feeling, but don't get the same level or depth. This kind of - glow(?) remains behind, and I keep expecting (maybe looking?) for something to happen. (I know this is weird, hang with me here.)

I guess it's more an anticipation of something, a sort of sense of something beyond wonderful that's just a little too high for me to reach. C.S. Lewis refers to this feeling as being "surprised by Joy", and his articulation of it (in his book called "Surprised by Joy", no less) is the best description I can find.

It's almost bittersweet, but in a positive(?) way. I can't reach it, but I know it's there somewhere. It's moments like these, from both my experience and apparently C.S. Lewis's, that I really know that God exists, that there is something so much higher and broader than my own humanity. This really isn't rational at all - sorry if you're disappointed, but you can't put much rationality on these kind of feelings.

Memorial Day

I love the new Pepsi commercial. It's called Rain and features Eva Longoria. (Who is, of course, drinking Pepsi. Imagine that.) The best part is the music; I wish there was some way I could find it online and download it. Tell the truth, I don't much care for Pepsi (Coke all the way, baby!!!), even though this particular advertisement really makes me want to have one.

Bought a new watch today. For a whopping $6.43. It's one of those studly velcro strap watches. Digital. Mmmm-hmmm. :) Can't wear it to work though, (which is at a Jewelry store where we have watches over $500) but I plan on using it to time my runs around the lake. That's about the most productive thing I've done on this Memorial Day. I did go to lunch with some friends at Applebee's.

Currently, I'm reading "Tess of the D'Ubervilles" by Thomas Hardy...depressing. So far, a young girl has been taken advantage of (by a guy who pretended to be her cousin but really wasn't), had a baby, lost the baby, and had to move away from her family to milk cows. Ich.

A Long Time Ago...

Put the wraps yesterday on my first week as a graduated high school student. Quite a milestone, huh? As Dad says, I'm finally "a real person". Score. Graduation was one of those bittersweet moments where you think, "Thank You God" on one hand and "Whoah, I'm not going to see you, or you, or you, or you you you you ever again."

The ironic thing is they don't even hand you your diploma when you walk across the stage. Instead, you are handed an elegant, red leather holder with the words Diploma stenciled in gold lettering across it (A nice touch, I thought, considering it's just public high school) that's empty. I have yet to swing by the school and pick up mine -should probably do that soon - but it feels a little anticlimatic.